You don't need to do it alone... Conflict is an inevitable part of life, whether it arises in personal or workplace relationships. People respond to conflict in different ways – some avoid or suppress it, while others see red and flare up (that fight or flight stress response). Culturally, conflict can express itself and be experienced in different ways too. The stiff upper lip is a well-worn British stereotype, where open conflict is a thing to be avoided at all costs, but under the surface, tensions simmer and sometimes erupt. Whatever your conflict response or culture, conflict is a natural feature of relationships, and working well with conflict can lead to positive changes in those relationships. By acknowledging and addressing conflicts, we can foster growth, understanding, and improved communication in our personal and professional lives. Mediation versus Conflict Coaching Mediation is often suggested to resolve conflict, but people may see involving an external party as a sign of failure. Conflict coaching provides an alternative or supplement to mediation. Unlike mediation, which involves a neutral third party facilitating dialogue between conflicting parties, conflict coaching provides individual support to navigate conflicts effectively. Benefits of Conflict Coaching Empowerment : Conflict coaching empowers people by helping them gain a deeper understanding of their emotions, needs, and values. This self-awareness enables them to navigate conflicts with confidence and assertiveness. For example, a manager who receives conflict coaching may develop the confidence to address interpersonal issues within their team. Improved Communication: Through conflict coaching, people learn effective communication techniques such as active listening, expressing emotions constructively, and managing difficult conversations. These skills enhance their ability to express themselves and understand others' perspectives, leading to more productive dialogue. Personal Growth: Conflict coaching promotes personal growth by encouraging people to reflect on their beliefs, assumptions, and behaviour patterns. It enables them to identify areas for personal development and empowers them to make positive changes. Stronger Relationships: By working through conflicts and developing effective communication skills, people can build stronger, more resilient relationships. Conflict coaching fosters understanding, empathy, and mutual respect, which are crucial foundations for healthy and fulfilling relationships. This might involve a team undergoing conflict coaching to improve collaboration and trust. In a world where individuals embrace conflict and work well with it, relationships would thrive with well defined boundaries. People would approach conflicts with curiosity and a commitment to understanding, rather than avoiding or escalating them. Conflict would be seen as an opportunity for growth and transformation, leading to deeper connections and more harmonious interactions. Conclusion Conflict coaching offers a powerful alternative or supplement to mediation, empowering individuals to navigate conflicts with self-awareness, enhanced communication skills, and a clear view of their desired outcomes. By embracing conflict and working well with it, we can transform our relationships, fostering understanding, growth, and healthy boundaries. In a world where conflict is navigated well, we open the door to building stronger connections and creating a more harmonious society. How we can help: One-to-one support to: Be an impartial sounding board to help you unpack issues Gain insight into the points of conflict and what you need from the relationship Understand your own conflict style and its influence on your approach Develop communication skills to give feedback, express feelings, and set boundaries Building conflict-resilient teams by: Developing shared team values and understanding their implications Gaining insight into individual conflict styles within the team Facilitating giving and receiving feedback, challenging behaviours in a compassionate and respectful way, and setting personal boundaries Ready to transform your approach to conflict? Contact us today to learn more about our conflict coaching services. Co-authored by Amanda Heenan LLM BSc(Hons) and Catherine Brys PhD MBA Biographies Amanda Heenan is an experienced and passionate equality, inclusion and human rights practitioner, with a Masters degree (LLM) in employment and equality law. She has experience of working across the public, private and voluntary sectors. Amanda is accredited as a good relations practitioner (by the Centre for Good Relations) - many of her projects involve building good relations in often contentious environments. She provided interim management support to a Scottish rape crisis centre, with a focus on managing change and developing good relationships, particularly between staff and Board members. Catherine Brys is an accredited mediator and good relations practitioner. She is also an experienced workplace coach and facilitator. She holds a Postgraduate Certificate in Mediation, Conflict Resolution and Negotiation from Strathclyde University and is accredited by the Centre for Good Relations. As a coach, facilitator and consultant she has worked with individuals and teams in the private and third sector to build better relationships and unblock conflict situations. Catherine is driven by helping people feel fulfilled and achieve more impact in what they do.
It is not a great leap to imagine future historians re-defining our time as Before COVID-19 [BC-19] and After COVID-19 [AC-19]. BC-19 was an unsettling and destructive time. The gnarly old man of capitalism was in the throes of a final hedonistic, nihilistic binge: his vomit poisoning the roots of humanity and the planet. The toxic effects of his binge was seen in the growing gulf between a tiny proportion of people acquiring an ever increasing share of wealth, with a growing number in poverty and feeling disenfranchised, and frankly, ever more pissed off. People needing food banks and payday loans despite working more than one job. People turning to populism and hatred towards those seen as Other, when their real anger was directed at those who seemed to be comfortably riding a wave of liberalism. People on the liberal end of the spectrum looking on in horror at the popularity of Trump and other populist right wing politicians who berated the 'liberal elites' whilst sitting on a mountain of wealth themselves. Late BC-19 saw discussions about a second age of enlightenment bubbling up to the surface. I'm privileged to be part of this dialogue. It's held my interest even in the times when the idea was just hanging on by the fine threads of a few people keeping the pot bubbling. But all it ever takes is a few people who quietly tend to an idea, until it comes into an age and stage that it's ready to gather momentum. That feels like where we are now, like a snowball finding the right conditions to grow and go where it needs to. Yesterday saw our first public event discussing the principles of a Second Enlightenment Movement and mapping projects, policies and resources that chime with these principles. What makes this movement so appealing to me is that it is not driven by a need for funding, it is self organised and is not looking to fix stuff in itself. Its purpose is to notice, connect and amplify those projects, policies and resources that chime with its principles. It is powered by love and a wider perspective. That makes it resistant to future factionalism as one branch of a movement seeks to prove it is more 'right' than another. This is a phenomenon that has plagued many progressive movements, and has repelled me from becoming involved in any form of politics. And so, here we are, exploring the frontiers of a new age of enlightenment. When has there been a better time to lay that gnarly old man of capitalism to rest? To lovingly remember he was an idealist once, borne of the 1st Scottish and European enlightenment, driven by virtue and the need to improve himself and society. We can thank him for his service, forgive him his transgressions against people and the planet, and move towards an age where we care for each other and the planet, and thrive together. That is possible, that is achievable, but it's not going to happen because someone else holds the answer. We all hold a piece of the magic wand of change, but it only works when we deploy it together in service of each other and the planet. This is what the folk who attended our event yesterday thought it might look and feel like, and it felt good to me!
Here at Arc of Inclusion we focus on the environment. Not the global ecosystem (although we like that too), but the environment created by organisations, and the vital contribution people make to that environment. In this article, the first in a series, I'll be outlining why we think the development of an inclusive, safe and accessible environment is so very, very important. We know that identifying the tangible ingredients for getting that environmental mix just right can be pretty tricky, but that’s exactly what we aim to explore here on these pages. We know that people flourish in environments where they feel safe and included. The business case is strong - to paraphrase Richard Branson: when you prioritise your employees, your employees will take care of your clients. Whatever your view of Richard Branson, it’s fair to say that he has a healthy interest in the bottom line. Even in those organisations where the primary driver is profit, creating a safe, inclusive and accessible environment for their employees and clients makes sound business sense. When we go to work, we expect to be safe. We also hope to be supported to do our jobs to the best of our abilities, and maybe even to flourish and grow. Many organisations (profit motivated or otherwise) are driven by a strong vision and a set of core values, but too often these don’t resonate with staff, as they don’t see that vision and those values reflected in their working environment. We all know workplaces which are rammed with filing cabinets and intranets overflowing with policies and completed CPD training courses. Yes, the compliance boxes are ticked, but how far can box ticking go when it comes to creating an optimal environment where staff can thrive and give of their best? I’ve seen the power of inclusive environments where some people, people who have encountered challenges and barriers to inclusion, overcome those barriers to thrive and blossom. I’ve also witnessed environments where talented and highly motivated staff become ever more disillusioned and disengaged, and eventually either vote with their feet, or develop strategies to minimise their exposure to their work environment. Sound familiar? In recent times, we’ve witnessed a depressingly large swathe of people courageously publicly speaking up about unacceptable behaviour in the work environment, That kind of behaviour has always been unacceptable, but alarmingly, we’re now seeing how readily it was accepted. It seems most prevalent where there is often an imbalance of power and people who often feel their careers are on the line if they speak up. How honest are organisations about the unspoken rules of their working environments? I’ve spent the last couple of years preoccupied by what makes an inclusive environment, one where people are actively encouraged to thrive. I’ve been very conscious about what it feels like, from a range of different personal and professional perspectives, to be in environments which feel properly inclusive, environments which might, for example, have been thoughtful about access. I’ve contrasted that positive approach with what failure feels like when inclusion isn’t really considered., I’ve seen for myself how lack of thoughtful inclusion puts a real dampener on efforts to make good things happen. In the rest of this series, I’ll outline how finding and using the right ingredients can combine to make for a much more healthy and nurturing environment. I’ll share some of my experience, and some of the stuff I’ve learned from a diverse range of sectors and settings. Most of all, I’ll encourage you to forget box ticking, and take the time to create the right mix for a healthy and happy working environment.
